Zaphod Beeblebrox's Left Dick

caprizantgrammarian:

Oh okay look!
I don’t know if the person who submitted this headcanon meant it as a joke or if hi is serious or what hir reasons are, and an examination of the notes says that others aren’t buying it. But I actually do have this theory.
Let’s go over it.

The character known to us as Dad Egbert has the handle pipefan413, which he uses to communicate with his own adult, “Serious Business” internet friends. It’s a very fitting handle for Dad, as we see that pipes and shaving are his interests. His friends seem to have similar interests in their lives, like slacks apparently.
MSPA fans have long speculated about the identity of fedorafreak, the “true hero” of Homestuck who not only survived the destruction of his house by SBURB, but was able to make it into the Medium somehow.

fedorafreak documents his adventure, describing all the alchemization and entry process we’ve grown familiar with by now. Of course, given his location, time and space mean little to him and so his posts can only be tracked with ??:?? tags.
Back to pipefan413 for a bit. John’s Dad has interests of his own, but he’s also tried over the years to engage John and share John’s interests. While pipefan doesn’t seem to quite understand John, this provides the framework for their tragicomic relationship. This all happens in what I’ve referred to before as the Red Session, with John et al.
Now in Act 6, post-Scratch, we’re following Jane and company’s adventure in the Green Session. Where Jane was John’s Nana in Session Red, John is Jane’s Poppop in Session Green. The constant link is the intervening father, who in this session we call Dad Crocker. Dad Crocker both is and is not Dad Egbert, which is to say that he is a reset universe’s alternate version of the same person.
Dad Crocker went through the same motions of trying to share Jane’s interests, though since we’re following them two years later, Jane is more mature than John — and so Dad and Jane’s relationship is accordingly more mature as well. Both are more able to be themselves and act naturally with each other, and it turns out they have indeed come to share interests.
Namely, fedoras.

Assuming that Dad Crocker uses the same Serious Business client (since the Green Session’s kids still use Pesterchum, excepting Jane) it isn’t hard at all to believe his handle could be fedorafreak. Which brings up an issue: we’ve never actually seen ff before; we’ve only seen his posts on the internet.
If Dad Crocker is fedorafreak, then his communications have been coming from another session. Strange as that may seem, it has been repeatedly established that communication between sessions, or at least these four sessions in our story, is possible. While we have yet to see if it’s possible for a person to cross from one session to another, messages and internet postings have gone through — and in fedorafreak’s case, this is all we need.
If I am correct, then, pipefan413 and fedorafreak are the same person, Dads Egbert and Crocker, respectively. Which would make this conversation one of the most significant, mine-bending, and tragic conversations in the text.

That was a lot of words for a theory that may prove to be wrong, but oh well.

Oh okay look!

I don’t know if the person who submitted this headcanon meant it as a joke or if hi is serious or what hir reasons are, and an examination of the notes says that others aren’t buying it. But I actually do have this theory.

Let’s go over it.

The character known to us as Dad Egbert has the handle pipefan413, which he uses to communicate with his own adult, “Serious Business” internet friends. It’s a very fitting handle for Dad, as we see that pipes and shaving are his interests. His friends seem to have similar interests in their lives, like slacks apparently.

MSPA fans have long speculated about the identity of fedorafreak, the “true hero” of Homestuck who not only survived the destruction of his house by SBURB, but was able to make it into the Medium somehow.

fedorafreak documents his adventure, describing all the alchemization and entry process we’ve grown familiar with by now. Of course, given his location, time and space mean little to him and so his posts can only be tracked with ??:?? tags.

Back to pipefan413 for a bit. John’s Dad has interests of his own, but he’s also tried over the years to engage John and share John’s interests. While pipefan doesn’t seem to quite understand John, this provides the framework for their tragicomic relationship. This all happens in what I’ve referred to before as the Red Session, with John et al.

Now in Act 6, post-Scratch, we’re following Jane and company’s adventure in the Green Session. Where Jane was John’s Nana in Session Red, John is Jane’s Poppop in Session Green. The constant link is the intervening father, who in this session we call Dad Crocker. Dad Crocker both is and is not Dad Egbert, which is to say that he is a reset universe’s alternate version of the same person.

Dad Crocker went through the same motions of trying to share Jane’s interests, though since we’re following them two years later, Jane is more mature than John — and so Dad and Jane’s relationship is accordingly more mature as well. Both are more able to be themselves and act naturally with each other, and it turns out they have indeed come to share interests.

Namely, fedoras.

Assuming that Dad Crocker uses the same Serious Business client (since the Green Session’s kids still use Pesterchum, excepting Jane) it isn’t hard at all to believe his handle could be fedorafreak. Which brings up an issue: we’ve never actually seen ff before; we’ve only seen his posts on the internet.

If Dad Crocker is fedorafreak, then his communications have been coming from another session. Strange as that may seem, it has been repeatedly established that communication between sessions, or at least these four sessions in our story, is possible. While we have yet to see if it’s possible for a person to cross from one session to another, messages and internet postings have gone through — and in fedorafreak’s case, this is all we need.

If I am correct, then, pipefan413 and fedorafreak are the same person, Dads Egbert and Crocker, respectively. Which would make this conversation one of the most significant, mine-bending, and tragic conversations in the text.

That was a lot of words for a theory that may prove to be wrong, but oh well.